High achievement often hides deep exhaustion. Dr. Naija and Allisa La Brown explore chronic stress, the pressure of constant availability, and why stepping back is essential for self-preservation.
Discover how stepping back can lead to true wellness and healing.
In this episode, we dive deep into the transformative concept of being “confidently unavailable” with self-preservation coach Allisa La Brown. She unpacks the heavy burdens many women carry, often feeling the need to be available at all times, and how this mindset can lead to exhaustion and depletion.
The Weight of Our Bridges
Allisa uses the metaphor of a bridge to illustrate the pressures women face. “Every bridge has a weight limit. How many 18-wheelers can I pile on this bridge before it falls?” She encourages us to consider how many responsibilities we are trying to bear and to recognize that it is okay to acknowledge our limits.
The Permission to Be Unavailable
Allisa’s journey began with her first coaching program, where she found herself burnt out from being constantly available to her clients. She realized that confidence is not just about being there for everyone; it is about being intentional with our time and energy.
“A woman does not have to do more to be successful. She has got to be honest about what was never actually her responsibility in the first place.”
This idea of being unapologetically unavailable is central to her coaching practice. Allisa emphasizes that we often apologize for our existence and needs, even when they aren’t ours to explain.
The Uncomfortable Truths
When clients first meet with Allisa, she likens the experience to coming home after a long day and taking off a tight bra. It is about creating a comfortable space to explore the uncomfortable truths about our lives.
The Impact of Chronic Stress
The conversation also touches on the physiological impact of chronic stress and how it manifests in the body. Our bodies do not distinguish between a deadline and a lion chasing us; both are treated as emergencies, leading to a state of constant stress. Allisa’s coaching helps women recognize when they are carrying burdens that don’t belong to them, allowing for a much-needed release.
Cultural Influences on Self-Perception
Allisa and her co-host also explore how societal expectations shape women’s self-perception from a young age. The “triple bind,” the need to be nurturing, driven, and desirable, creates an impossible standard.
As they discuss the experiences of women in the modeling industry, it becomes clear that this issue transcends careers and financial status. The internalized pressures lead many women to apologize for their existence, regardless of their accomplishments.
A Call to Action
As Allisa puts it, “You are allowed to be unavailable.” It is a radical permission that every woman deserves to embrace. By stepping back from what doesn’t serve us, we can reclaim our energy and live more authentically.
As you reflect on this conversation, consider where you might be able to practice being confidently unavailable in your own life.
For more insights and to explore the full conversation, tune into the episode.
Connect with Allisa La Brown: allisalabrown.com
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Heal naturally. Live vibrantly.
The Naija Goddess
About the Author
Dr. Naija, The Naija Goddess, DFM, PhD
Dr. Naija is a Doctor of Functional Medicine, Board-Certified Holistic Nutritionist, Certified Herbalist, and chef with more than 20 years of culinary expertise. She is the founder of The Naija Goddess Center for Culinary Medicine, where she connects functional health insight with practical food and lifestyle strategy.